Helping a patient with heart failure can be a rewarding and enriching experience. However, there are times when it can take its toll. Be sure to take care of yourself as well, and be mindful of your overall physical and emotional well-being. Here are some things to keep in mind:
Don't try to do it alone. Just as the heart patient needs to express feelings, so do you. You may feel a mixture of guilt (e.g., "Should I have seen this coming? Could I have prevented the heart failure?"), fear (e.g., "Will this happen to me? Who will care for him if I can't?") or general frustration (e.g., "How can I handle all this day after day?") and sadness (e.g., "I don't want to see her go through this."). Sometimes writing your feelings down in a journal is helpful. And find someone you can talk to--friends, family, or the person you're taking care of.
Don't blame yourself. If the patient gets frustrated or depressed, or doesn't follow doctor's advice in spite of your best efforts, remember that it's not your fault and you can't control everything. Try to focus on concrete things you can do to help such as running errands, making phone calls, helping prepare meals--and remain encouraging and positive.
Ask for help. Others may assume you don't need help, so ask if you need it. Family, friends and neighbours may be willing to help with meals, transportation and other day-to-day needs. There may also be organisations and volunteer groups in your area that can provide assistance.
Find support for you, too. Just as patients can find comfort and strength in support groups, so you can. Contact your hospital and ask about groups in your area. The Internet is also a good place to find forums for carers to share experiences and give support. See Resources for more information.
Remember to take breaks. Don't cut yourself off from friends and activities you enjoy. Take a break when you need it, even if it's just a movie or a walk around the block.
Pay attention to your own mental health. Taking care of someone who is ill can be stressful, and stress can lead to depression and a host of other problems. Talk to your doctor if you develop any of these symptoms of depression:
- Lack of interest in activities you used to enjoy
- Withdrawal from family and friends
- Irritability or a hopeless feeling
- Weight gain or loss, or change in appetite
- Exhaustion
Last Updated on: 20.01.2005
